Last night, I read The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck in one sitting, and it was truly magical.
Today, I woke up a changed person.
I read a lot of time (and life) management books that stress the importance of working out, eating well, taking time for yourself, spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing your goals and serving your community, but I’ve never read anything that gives you permission not to care about things you just don’t care about.
I’ve always been a person who cares about very few things, and I’ve always felt guilty about it.
If you’re not my husband, dog, friend or relation, lunch or dinner, novel, favorite movie/show/book/podcast or somehow the human embodiment of Facebook or Netflix, I just don’t care about you. And that’s okay, according to this book, and I agree.
I’ve always felt guilty about feeling that way, but now I don’t. It’s freeing.
You only have so much time, energy and money, so you should spend it exactly how you want, this book argues, when in your control, of course. (Some things clearly aren’t within your control.)
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done something just because I “felt like I should.”
And why is that? My name’s Blurryface, apparently.
“It’s because you’re worried about what other people might think about your decision,” Sarah Knight writes. “And guess what? You have no control over what other people think.”
So stop worrying about it. Really.
With the exception of doing what’s needed to stay gainfully employed and avoiding rudeness (polite honesty is encouraged instead), this book advises you to never do anything just because you feel like you should. If your only reason for doing something is obligation, just don’t do it. Instead prioritize what brings you joy over what annoys, and choice over obligation, Sarah writes, though with many more f-words. (In this book, the f-word appears at least once in every sentence, if not more often.)
“[It] means releasing yourself from the worry, anxiety, fear, and guilt associated with saying no, allowing you to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do,” Sarah writes.
She even gives you zingers to keep people from guilting you into doing things you don’t want to do. My favorite is what to say if anyone tries to get you to donate to, or buy, anything you don’t care about.
“I just can’t afford to put money toward someone else’s goals and dreams.”
I mean, how can you argue with that? You can’t. It’s the perfect blend of honest and firm.
She also gives you a recipe to basically say no to anything you don’t care about with a personal policy.
“I have a personal policy against [INSERT LITERALLY ANYTHING HERE]” so I can’t do that.
There are also workbook-like sections where you can write down things you feel you should care about and things you actually care about. It’s illuminating.
I’ve listed what I care about above, but it turns out I don’t care about any of the following things:
- Breaking Bad—The one episode I watched depressed me.
- Game of Thrones—Sarah’s not into it either, according to her TedTalk.
- Justin Bieber
So there you have it. Read the book and absorb it’s magic.
You’re judging me for not liking Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones aren’t you?
Well, sorry—not sorry. I now have a personal policy against caring what you think.