Not-Cooked Chicken

May 19, 2010 by Kelly    11 Comments    Posted under: Now She's Cookin'

Now I understand why Julie was so scared to bone a duck. Ick. I did not have a good experience with the Not-Cooked Chicken recipe (just a clever name, though unfortunately descriptive in my case…at first. The chicken does end up cooked but slowly). It was just one mishap after another. But somehow it turned out decent. But will I make it again? Eh. Probably not. I’ll probably cheat and use a slow cooker next time. Attempt at your own risk.

Not-Cooked Chicken

Buy a whole chicken, un-frozen. (This is the only ingredient, which is why I cheaply choose this recipe today. But just looking at a whole non-cooked chicken is enough to make you consider vegetarianism.)

Bring your largest pot, half-filled with water, to a boil with the lid on. (Yes, this is the tall one you could only imagine would be used for some form of gumbo but have never touched, or possibly that’s just me.)

With tongs, lower the chicken into the boiling water, submerging it entirely. Leave the chicken with the lid on for two minutes. (I did not have tongs so I tried fondue forks. The chicken easily slid into the pot and just as easily slid off the fondue forks. I tried shoving a wooden soup ladle through the chicken and twisting it so that the bigger end held it in place but that did not work either. I eventually had to pull the chicken out by stabbing knives into it until I was able to pick it up).

DON’T BURN YOURSELF while removing from (or lowering the chicken into) the pot. This is messy, splashy and hard.

Remove chicken, place it on a plate and witness a great deal of water coming out of it. (I guess there must be some reason for this?)

Put the lid back on the water and bring to a boil again. (Not a meager boil—a very furious boil.)

Lower the chicken into the water again, cover, turn OFF burner (I know it doesn’t sound possible, but it works), and let sit for 1 and 1/2 hours with the lid on. (Yes, hours. I misread this direction as 1 ½ minutes and called my dad demanding why the chicken looked completely uncooked. He asked “Well did you cook it for the full 1 ½ hours with the burner off?”  “1 ½ hours?” “Umm…I cooked it for 1 ½ minutes.” “That’s totally wrong. Oh no. Is that what I wrote?” [I checked. Nope.] “I have to go,” I said and hung up to the sound of my dad’s hysterical laughter.)

Let the chicken cool a little.

Remove the skin and discard along with the fat and bones. (Gross.)

When I was finally able to finish this chicken after watching both “Top Chef” episodes, I realized that I had no sides or any additional flavor for the chicken. Luckily my husband had the foresight to put Tony’s seasoning and garlic salt in the pot when we turned off the burner and let it sit. He also broke out the box potatoes and canned green beans, saving the meal.

This week I totally failed, but I think a more seasoned cook could easily fare better. I’m sure it can make tasty chicken if you have an idea of what you’re doing. Mine was pretty good, though it needed more seasoning and less confusion.

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